What is Love?: A Courting Journal entry

So when people ask what you want out of a relationship, what do you say? Marriage? Sex? Friendship? I’ve been asked so many times it’s slightly sickening. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked why I just don’t find a girl and lose my v card already. Or that I should date someone cause of only one similarity and no knowledge on who they are. My answer was always along the lines of shaking my head or trying to change the subject. Usually it worked, unless someone prodded enough to get my real answer, which is what I’ll be sharing right now. You see, my perfect relationship is finding someone who I like and likes me and holding hands, going for long walks, going to an amusement park for the day, laying on a blanket in the springtime and watching the clouds or stars, visiting a pumpkin patch in the autumn and just being that adorable, mushy couple that everyone seemingly hates on the outside but on the inside, secretly want to have that relationship. Notice I didn’t once mention sex. It really doesn’t matter to me in a relationship and honestly, in my opinion, can wait til we are comfortable with each other and ready. Now if that means after a month or a year, it doesn’t matter to me. But even before we are an established couple, I want to say one thing. I know a lot of people use love in their day to day vocabulary. We all have grown accustomed to saying it in place of like or enjoy. But my stance on it is more personal. I have watched too many people use love so much, it loses meaning. I would have friends tell me they love me, when really they really just appreciate me being there for them. I never use the word love, which always makes me seem like I only like someone. It’s hard for me to tell someone I love them because I want it to be genuine and not just a casual phrase. When I tell someone I love them, I mean it. And I know people who I have pursued dating wise probably never understood this. It’s all my personal preference. And I wanna touch base on love in today’s society. I am so fed up with younger people, 12-16, acting like they have to love someone to be important. Or that the only way to show your love is sex. This is just saddening to me because it is the farthest thing from the truth. Everyone is beautiful and special in their own way and there will come a day when you find someone to love with all your heart. Not saying dating in middle and high school is bad, in fact it’s actually wonderful, just don’t think that it’s the end of the world when things go to shit. You learn from your mistakes, brush yourself off and find the person who deserves the wonderful person you are. You are the only you and there is someone out there for you. So to sum up this whole thing, I really do love people but I’m afraid of overusing the word to the point where it has no meaning, America and the younger generation have a flawed view on love and what is it to be in love and I don’t care for sex. Sue me. Love me. Agree with me. Do whatever. This is me and nothing’s gonna change that.